blog..our story ended le..i cried a lot..realli a lot..xin hao tong..n the pain is not wad words cld put it for mi to say..i didnt dare to come online..coz i know..when i come online..i will have to change mi status..mi words..now im changing..n im crying..things were happening too fast..i kept reminding miself tat hez no longer mine..i have to..or else i'll juz tot tat im dreaming..is fate playing with mi again?when i truly give it all out..i had it back broken..and it will take mi a long time to mend it..no..i dun wan to forget him..i dun..n im not planning to..u know how much it hurts to change the status from 'in a relationship' to 'single'..not too long ago..some bunch of guyz eating beancurd at mi flat downstairs..tried to stop mi n ask for mi no..but i ignored them..thinking..'sorri im..'i didnt complete the sentence in mi mind..i actualli meant 'sorri im attached'..but..im not..no longer..wo hao shang xin..but..im much better today le..thanks to shawn..his words realli helped a lot..now i dun believe wad anyone says le..i believe wad i wan to believe..mi frenz dun realli believe in wad i say..coz they think otherwise..but i dun..i trust wad shawn says..n i believe he aint those kinda guy..im still avoiding him..not looking at him when i know hez there..coz..im afraid mi tears will juz drop..li yun said tat she wad afraid tat when i stared into space..mi tears will juz trickle down mi cheeks without blinking mi eye..n when mi frenz tried to make mi laugh..esp at the end of the sch day..i will always juz cry n laugh at the same time..the laughters..the smiles on mi face is juz a mask..is nth..but a mask..i had to keep cheerful..though inside..im not..i juz had to do so..or else i'll juz keep crying..n crying..like wad i did at home..i used to think..were we meant to be together..?coz a lot of complicated things happened between us..but in the end..we r together..like wad he said..'wad tat is meant to be urs will be urs eventually..'but now..we r not..i realli cant predict mi future..i rmb tat nite..i was very tired from crying..n i fell aslp very quickly..but i woke up in the middle of the nite..and started crying again..thinking back all the things..till the morning when i had to wake up to go to sch..the next nite i dreamt of an angel-like,fairy god-mama person..she told mi something..n i rmb nodding mi head..believing in wad she said..but the worse was tat i cldnt rmb wad she had said when i woke up from the dream!!tat time i liked clemence for 1 yr 3 mths 8 days..n now i like him deeper than clemence..i think i will like him longer than tat..i think..i wun try to fall for another person juz to forget him or smth..i cant forget him..no way..n i think itz realli silly for a gal to do so coz itz cheating feelings..i hate it..i think..i still will..like him..oh..ya..clemence asked mi out ytd..he didnt know of wad happened to us..i told him tat i dunno if i will go out with him on sat..itz a one-to-one thingy..but im not going with him..i dun wan to..how will he feel when he knows about it?i guessed tats mi..i cared a lot about ppl's feelings..prehaps..i realli thanked shawn..im not as bad as the previous days le..but ytd wad shawn told mi about him realli made mi moved..n again..i cried..im a person who realli cries a lot..so dun mind mi..but..his words..realli..i wan to hold on to it..n i know i will..im very stubborn..i juz wan to continue liking him..ya..i know very well..tat theres a high possibility tat i mite not get anything but hurt instead at the end of the day..but..tats wad i realli wan..follow mi heart..n i shldnt be going the wrong way..
